


This Is Who You Are (Deal With It)

by Saral_Hylor



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alpha Tony, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Bond Mates, Howard Stark's A+ Parenting, M/M, Nightmares, Omega Steve, Past Abuse, Past Child Death, Tony Feels, allusions to, it did a number on Tony, self doubt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-06
Updated: 2014-04-06
Packaged: 2018-01-18 10:14:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1424752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saral_Hylor/pseuds/Saral_Hylor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He was going to marry Steve; he knew that. Tony wanted no one else but that didn't mean he thought he'd ever be good enough.</p>
            </blockquote>





	This Is Who You Are (Deal With It)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Jeniouis](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jeniouis/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Who Are You Steve Rogers?](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1396273) by [Jeniouis](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jeniouis/pseuds/Jeniouis). 



> So, this is my first foray into the ABO universe, and I blame it entirely on _Jeniouis_ and her fic _Who Are You Steve Rogers?_
> 
> This work is entirely based on that fic, events mentioned and alluded to in this story are taken from that story, and will make far more sense if you read it first.  
> I was just reading it the other day, go a huge amount of Tony feels and had to write them down. It didn't turn out to be the five second drabble I was intending to write. And then Jeniouis was kind enough to give me permission to post this.

Tony watched Steve sleeping from where he stood in the doorway. It was late – or rather, early in the morning – and he hadn’t been there when Steve had fallen asleep, too caught up in his own work that the time had gone completely unnoticed. His eyes traced over the frown lines creasing his omega’s brow, and he knew that it was his fault that Steve’s sleep wasn’t as peaceful as he deserved. Even so, it wasn’t the same level of distress that he’d seen before, so the nightmares obviously hadn’t kicked into full effect yet.

Part of him told him he should just strip off and climb into the bed next to Steve, but he knew he was too restless to settle down to sleep, and he’d only wake Steve up. It might not have been his most peaceful sleep, but Tony knew that it was better than no sleep. And without evidence of actual nightmares he wasn’t sure he could justify waking the soldier up.

Instead he just stood there, watching over the blond, his mind still reeling with everything that he’d learnt about his omega recently. The knowledge had been stampeding through his mind since Steve had started opening up to him. It made him feel sick. More than that, it upset him, made him incredibly mad, and quite frankly terrified him. The omega,  _his_  omega, his bond mate, had been through far too much before they had met. He’d been used and hurt, and there was absolutely nothing he could do about it.

And that just didn’t feel acceptable.

He was Iron Man. He was Tony fucking Stark. He should have been able to do something to make it all better, to take away the pain that was in Steve’s past.

But he knew that even he couldn’t erase what had happened. Steve wasn’t some piece of tech that he could just tinker with and fix. Steve was a living, breathing, beautiful human, who he knew he had never, and would never deserve. Surely it’d only be a matter of time before Steve woke up to that fact too; that just because Tony was better than alphas Steve had encountered in the past, didn’t mean he was anywhere near good enough.

Not that he wanted Steve to leave him. Just because he was realistic and knew he wasn’t good enough didn’t mean he wasn’t going to selfishly cling to the best thing that had ever happened to him. He would marry Steve Rogers if it was the last thing he ever did. He’d hold onto his omega as long as, and as tight as, he possibly could, because, after they’d bonded, he wasn’t sure if he’d ever be able to live without Steve in his life.

There was the pain, Steve’s that he could feel through their bond, and his own at the knowledge of what Steve had been through, that he wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to get rid of, or make up for. He could still hear the pain in Steve’s voice when he’d talked about Summer, still see the memories dancing in his eyes, and practically feel the love and melancholy that had radiated out of the picture Steve had drawn.

The ridiculously selfish part of him reminded him that if Summer had lived, then Steve would have never tried to get into the army, never have gone through Project Rebirth, and never have crashed that plane into the Atlantic. He’d have never woken up in the Twenty First Century, and they’d have never met.

The relief and happiness that he felt over how events had played out were laced with guilt. But the guilt, as bitter as it tasted, still had to be better than loneliness.

Summer made him think about what Steve had said, the recent fertility tests he’d been through, and the subject of children and having a family that they’d only just touched the edges of. He knew it was only a matter of time before they really talked about it; before Steve had lived a little, as he’d said, and decided he wanted to settle down.

Maybe asking Steve to marry him would only hurry up the inevitability of that conversation.

_Don’t ask. He’ll only say no. As if you’d ever be good enough for Captain America._ The cynical voice inside his head whispered, sounding too much like his father to really ignore.

It was right, which was the really depressing thing, he’d never be good enough for Captain America. Never be good enough for Steve Rogers, despite what the younger man said. He was trying though. Trying to be good enough, trying to be the alpha that Steve deserved. He’d fall short, he was sure of it. He’d never be father material either. Though he knew, that if Steve asked, if Steve begged, he would give in. If Steve asked for children, he’d give them to him, hell, he’d adopt them by the boatload, if he thought it would make Steve happy.

That wasn’t to say the idea didn’t scare him. It did. Tony Stark wasn’t someone who people picked as a fatherly figure. He’d certainly never seen it in his life, never wanted to. He’d be like Howard, too busy, too much a Stark, too judging. Who was to say that he wouldn’t put the same expectations on his own child as Howard had put on him? What if his children weren’t all brilliant and geniuses, how could he possibly raise them without putting pressure on them, wanting them to be like him, someone to take over the company (even if it was Pepper’s now)? It didn’t matter how hard he would try to be a better parent, be the best parent, he was still a Stark, had still been a disappointment and let people down his whole life.

It wouldn’t change just because he had children.

It wasn’t something he’d ever thought about, or ever wanted, but it didn’t stop the mental image of Steve glowing and belly swollen with child, or the image of Steve cradling a blanket swathed baby in his arms, from forming in his mind. And it didn’t stop the spike of longing tinged with fear that he felt.

Steve would be a brilliant parent. He’d offer and supply all the love and support needed. He’d be there, and be responsible, and just perfect.

Maybe that’d be enough to make up for how terrible Tony would be at it.

Steve mumbled something in his sleep, expression twisting into something that resembled pain, and Tony could see the tension stiffening his shoulders and pulling his breathing tight, and knew that was his cue.

Stepping away from the door, Tony pulled off his t-shirt, getting rid of his jeans as well before he slid into the bed beside Steve. Bundling the soldier into his arms he whispered reassurances to him, pressing kisses that made promises of peace and safety against his skin, pushing all the love and affection he could through their bond. Steve didn’t quite wake up, turning into Tony, face tucked against his neck, but his breathing evened out again.

Tony Stark didn’t have time for doubt, or self-pity, not in moments like these. Not when his omega needed him.

**Author's Note:**

> Liked, hated, felt indifferent towards? Please leave some love. This was my first ABO, so please be gentle. I know it didn't go hugely into the dynamic, but it's the first time I've even attempted writing this trope, so a bit of feedback will be greatly appreciated and hugged.


End file.
